🐦 “BMC’s New idea to Protect Public Health: Designated Biohazard Zones for Birds”
Only in Mumbai, where civic logic and chaos share the same balcony.
After banning pigeon feeding due to health risks, the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) has now officially approved four “controlled pigeon feeding zones.” Yes, you read that right.
It’s like saying, “Smoking kills — so here’s a government-approved smoking corner for birds.”
This isn’t governance. It’s performance art.
1️⃣ The Great Pigeon Paradox: From Public Nuisance to Protected Voter Base
First, BMC declared pigeons a public health hazard — their droppings cause respiratory illnesses, allergies, and infections like hypersensitivity pneumonitis.
Now, the same civic body has rolled out the red carpet for these winged biohazards, complete with time slots (7 AM–9 AM).
Why? Because logic flies lower than the pigeons themselves when votes are on the line.
2️⃣ “Feeding Ban for Safety” → “Official Feeding Zones” — Pick a Side Already
So BMC bans feeding pigeons to protect citizens… then sets up four pigeon buffets across Mumbai.
That’s like fighting dengue by launching “mosquito theme parks,” or tackling pollution by declaring “designated smoking days.”
You can’t make this up.
3️⃣ Democracy or Birdocracy?
Somewhere between appeasement politics and bureaucratic absurdity, we’ve created a pigeon lobby that’s stronger than the stray dog lobby.
Forget healthcare or housing — this is wing welfare.
When humans can’t breathe clean air, but pigeons get feeding schedules, you know the system’s gone coo-coo.
4️⃣ The Real health Crisis No One Wants to Talk About
Doctors have been warning for years — pigeon droppings cause serious lung diseases.
In densely populated areas, these birds turn balconies into biohazard zones.
But instead of protecting citizens, the city is protecting sentiment — because apparently, hurting a pigeon’s feelings is worse than damaging human lungs.
5️⃣ BMC’s “Interim Decision” = Long-Term Disaster
The decision is “temporary,” pending expert review.
Translation: “We’ll pretend it’s under study until people forget.”
By the time the expert committee files its report, pigeons will have filed for residency rights.
6️⃣ Mumbai’s New Morning Routine: Yoga, Traffic, and Bird Flu
Congratulations, Mumbaikars! You now get to start your day inhaling micro-particles of dried droppings while jogging past “designated feeding zones.”
Who needs fresh air when you can breathe in civic stupidity?
7️⃣ The Bottom Line: When Leadership Loses Its Wings
This is what happens when decisions are made for optics, not outcomes.
Feeding pigeons might look compassionate, but it’s public health negligence wrapped in moral theatre.
Democracy dies not with dictators — but with decisions like this, made to please everyone and protect no one.
💀 Final Punch:
While the common man gasps for breath and doctors raise alarms, BMC’s priorities remain crystal clear — protect the pigeons, pollute the people.
In a city drowning in pollution, traffic, and sewage, we’ve now added a new civic threat — institutionalized stupidity.
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