THE GREAT indian OBSTACLE COURSE
Driving in india is very easy.
You just need the reflexes of a fighter pilot, the patience of a monk, the luck of a lottery winner, and the situational awareness of a jungle predator.
Because here, roads aren’t infrastructure.
They’re survival simulations.
Every commute is a live-action obstacle course designed by chaos itself. You don’t drive. You anticipate betrayal — from the road, from vehicles, from gravity, from livestock, from humans, and occasionally from basic physics.
Here’s what you must survive.
1. Dogs. Because They believe in Destiny.
They don’t look left. They don’t look right. They simply exist in the middle of the road like philosophers contemplating life — until you’re 10 feet away.
And just when you think they’ll move… they sprint directly toward your tyres.
2. Cattle. The Original VIPs.
A 600-kilo reminder that horns don’t belong only on vehicles.
They sit. They stroll. They conduct meetings in the median. And traffic adjusts. Because in india, cows have right of way. Always.
3. Children. Tiny Agents of Chaos.
They don’t cross roads.
They launch into them.
With a ball. Or without one. And they always appear from behind a parked vehicle — because suspense is part of the experience.
4. Potholes. Geological Events.
Not potholes. Craters.
Some are deep enough to question tectonic activity. Some appear overnight like political promises. Hit one wrong and your suspension files for emotional compensation.
5. Open Ditches, Sewer Lines, Manholes. Surprise Architecture.
A manhole cover missing is not a defect.
It’s a trap.
One wrong turn and your car disappears into civil engineering negligence.
6. Non-Standard Speed Breakers. Designed by Vengeance.
Some are invisible.
Some are mountain ranges.
None follow measurement standards.
If you miss spotting one, your spine signs a resignation letter.
7. Wrong-Side Drivers. Because Why Not?
Why follow lanes when destiny is calling from the opposite direction?
They approach confidently. Boldly. Like you’re the inconvenience.
And somehow, you end up apologizing.
8. Pedestrians Crossing Abruptly. Faith-Based Navigation.
Signals are decorative. Zebra crossings are aesthetic.
Real crossing technique? Raise one hand slightly and walk. Traffic will adjust. Or brake violently.
9. Divider Cuts. The Portals of Doom.
There is always someone hiding behind a divider opening, waiting for the perfect cinematic moment to enter your lane sideways.
No indicator. No hesitation. Just vibes.
10. Lane Changes Without Warning. Surprise Plot Twists.
Indicators exist. They are optional.
vehicles teleport from one lane to another like they unlocked a cheat code.
11. Turning Without Indicators. Psychic Driving Required.
You’re expected to sense intentions telepathically.
If they turn suddenly, it’s your fault for not reading their aura.
12. Thar, Scorpio, Fortuner, Buses, Trucks, Tractors.
These aren’t vehicles.
They are declarations.
The bigger the vehicle, the smaller the patience. They occupy lanes like territorial statements. Mirrors fear them. hatchbacks avoid eye contact.
13. E-Rickshaws & Auto-Rickshaws. Quantum Physics on Wheels.
They can stop anywhere. Turn anywhere. Materialize anywhere.
Predicting them requires advanced mathematics and spiritual alignment.
14. Overtaking From the Left. Because Rules Are Decorative.
You’re already avoiding a pothole, a cow, and existential dread — and someone squeezes past from the left with 3 inches to spare.
Adrenaline: activated.
15. Parked vehicles Opening Doors. Russian Roulette Edition.
You pass carefully.
And suddenly — a door swings open like it’s testing your reflexes.
Bonus points if it’s on a narrow road.
16. Loose Gravel Without Warning. Slip Mode Activated.
Freshly dumped sand or stones waiting mid-turn. No signboard. No cone.
Just traction betrayal.
17. Temporary Barricades. Appearing Like Jump Scares.
One second the road is clear.
Next second: steel barricade. Middle of the lane. No warning lights. Because suspense builds character.
18. Uneven Resurfacing. Patchwork Engineering.
Half the road smooth. Half the road resembles a war zone.
Your tyres never know what’s coming next. Neither do you.
19. VIP Convoys Honking From Behind.
You’re minding your business.
Suddenly — sirens, flashing lights, aggressive honking.
You’re expected to evaporate.
20. Unmarked, Unfinished Flyovers.
A smooth climb…
Then abrupt concrete.
No railing. No signage. Just a dramatic ending.
Like a thriller with no budget for closure.
🧠 THE REALITY
Driving in india doesn’t test your driving skills.
It tests your anticipation.
It tests your patience.
It tests your cardiovascular stability.
It turns ordinary people into hyper-aware survival strategists.
And yet… every morning, millions get behind the wheel and do it again.
Because this isn’t just traffic.
It’s the Great indian Road Experience™.
And if you can master this chaos?
You can drive anywhere in the world.
Now tell me — which one nearly got you this week? 😏
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