PM’s Principal Secretary P.K. Mishra urged indians working abroad to return home, painting india as the world’s third-largest startup ecosystem. On paper, it sounds glorious. But ask any nri why they left, and the answers sting: corruption, pothole highways, endless toll booths, suffocating red tape, quota-driven jobs, and a system that rewards politics over merit.

india doesn’t just need its talent back—it needs a system worth coming back to. Until then, these appeals are nothing more than glossy PR. Here’s the savage truth.

1. Welcome Back to Pothole Paradise

Forget Silicon Valley freeways. Drive through india and you’ll get roller-coaster roads with craters big enough to host fishing ponds. And don’t forget—every 2 km, pay a toll tax for the privilege.

2. Ethanol-Petrol: Innovation or Inflation?

“Green fuel” sounds sexy in speeches. But in practice, NRIs returning home will fill their cars with ethanol-mixed petrol—expensive, inefficient, and inconsistent. The only thing guaranteed is empty wallets, not clean air.

3. Jobs? Enjoy the 73% Reservation Buffet

So you’re an MIT grad or ex-Google engineer? In India’s job market, merit is second-class. Reservation quotas dominate everything—from education to employment. Welcome to a system where your degree matters less than your caste certificate.

4. Startup Hub or Shutdown Hub?

Yes, india is the “third-largest startup ecosystem.” But let’s not forget: 90% of startups die within five years, crushed by red tape, taxes, bribes, and government harassment. For every unicorn, a graveyard of failed dreams lies hidden.

5. Ease of Doing business = Ease of Paying Bribes

In the brochures, india sells “ease of doing business.” In reality, it’s endless paperwork, delayed approvals, and officials with palms outstretched. NRIs expecting smooth operations will face the same cancer that forced companies like Wintrack Inc. to quit India.

6. The Taxman Is Waiting

NRIs returning to india will discover a tax ecosystem designed to punish honesty. GST, tolls, cess, fuel tax, property tax—you’ll be taxed for earning, taxed for spending, and taxed again for existing.

7. Lifestyle Upgrade? Or Downgrade?

Leave behind clean air, reliable power, efficient transport, and civic order. Trade it in for power cuts, toxic smog, traffic chaos, and collapsing infrastructure. All wrapped neatly in the slogan: “Bharat Rising.”

💀 Final Punchline

India doesn’t need to beg NRIs to come back. india needs to fix itself first. Until potholes, quotas, and corruption vanish, “returning home” is nothing more than returning to disappointment.