💔 love ISN’T TRENDING ANYMORE
Once upon a time, having a boyfriend was a social currency — the ultimate badge of desirability, emotional success, and stability. Fast forward to 2025, and that same badge now feels more like a burden.
In her british Vogue essay, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?”, writer Chanté Joseph captures a seismic cultural shift: being single is no longer seen as a waiting room for love — it’s the destination itself. The internet’s most visible women are making quiet statements through silence, subtlety, and strategic cropping. The message? Romance might still be alive, but flaunting it is not.
📱 THE ERA OF THE SOFT (OR NO) LAUNCH
love used to live loudly online — anniversary reels, airport hugs, and hard-launch selfies. Now? It’s all about mystery, minimalism, and micro-hints.
Joseph notes how modern women avoid the “hard launch” of boyfriends — instead posting just a hand on the steering wheel, a blurred jawline, or a shadow in a mirror. The aesthetic is intentional. The subtext? “Yes, I have someone — but no, he doesn’t define me.”
It’s part rebellion, part self-preservation. Because in an era where followers matter more than ever, oversharing love can cost you your audience.
👑 SINGLE IS THE NEW STATUS SYMBOL
The romantic tables have turned. Where being in a relationship once signaled success, now it’s singleness that screams confidence, freedom, and control.
Joseph describes how young women view relationships — especially heterosexual ones — as potential “aura killers.” Being seen as too attached, too in love, or too available risks puncturing the illusion of power.
It’s not bitterness — it’s branding.
The modern woman doesn’t need a boyfriend to validate her desirability. She is the prize, the main character, and the headline — not the plus-one.
🧿 FEAR, SUPERSTITION & SELF-PROTECTION
But beneath the aesthetics lies something more ancient — superstition. Many women admit they hide their partners out of fear of the “evil eye.” The logic is simple: what’s seen can be envied, and what’s envied can be destroyed.
Others, like Nikki — a woman Joseph quotes who avoided posting about her 12-year relationship — say it’s about privacy and self-protection. After all, in an age where breakups go viral, it’s easier to say nothing than to issue a wallet PLATFORM' target='_blank' title='digital-Latest Updates, Photos, Videos are a click away, CLICK NOW'>digital press release when love ends.
The internet forgets nothing — and that permanence makes discretion the new luxury.
💣 THE POLITICIZATION OF HETEROSEXUALITY
Here’s where it gets explosive.
Joseph points out that even straight women are now questioning the politics of their own love lives. The act of dating a man has, bizarrely, become ideological — viewed by some as aligning with patriarchal norms, privilege, or outdated gender roles.
On social media, this manifests as mockery. “Having a boyfriend is so Republican,” one viral post reads. Another brand's straight relationships as “spiritually Israeli.” The exaggeration hides a deeper truth — for many young women, heterosexual love feels politically complicated, even performatively regressive.
🎙️ INFLUENCERS & THE IRONY OF PERFORMATIVE SINGLEHOOD
What’s fascinating, Joseph observes, is that even women in relationships publicly join the “boyfriend slander” trend. Influencers on podcasts like Delusional Diaries call having a boyfriend “lame” — while privately posting romantic stories to their close friends’ lists.
It’s a bizarre duality: women mocking what they themselves have, performing detachment for social capital. Because in the influencer economy, relatability sells — and being “too loved-up” alienates followers.
love becomes both the secret and the spectacle.
🌍 SOCIAL MEDIA: WHERE FEMINISM MEETS BRANDING
This isn’t just about romance — it’s about identity economics.
Social media turned personalities into brands, and in that world, being single is an asset. Independence photographs better than devotion. Self-focus generates engagement.
Joseph ties this shift to modern feminism — a rebellion against the narrative that a woman’s worth peaks with partnership. Today’s women are rebranding their solitude as strength.
And while older generations see this as cynical, Gen Z sees it as clarity. They’re not anti-love — they’re anti-losing-themselves in it.
⚡️ BOTTOM LINE: love IS PRIVATE, IMAGE IS PUBLIC
In a culture obsessed with optics, even love has become a PR exercise. The modern woman isn’t embarrassed by having a boyfriend — she’s just done performing the fantasy.
Romance hasn’t died; it’s gone underground — quiet, deliberate, and shielded from the chaos of the feed.
Because in 2025, the ultimate power move isn’t the hard launch.
It’s the quiet love no one gets to screenshot.
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